Just imagine…

Imagine with me for a minute while we go on a trip down memory lane.

You’ve never felt confident in yourself. You take a hundred selfies and hate them all. You actively dive out of the way when someone pulls a camera or their phone out. You think you’ll love yourself more when you get your teeth fixed or you lose weight or you have a fancier wardrobe.

That’s not you. That’s me. That was my life not even two years ago.

I’d gained weight after having my second baby during covid, my hair was a ‘mess’ because I’d not cut it in years, my teeth deteriorate FAST when I’m pregnant (I lost 5 teeth over 2 pregnancies), and none of my clothes fit. I felt like crap.

I’d listened to all those people who say you need to bounce right back after pregnancy. That your body needs to stay the same. That you just have to keep going like nothing has changed even though everything has changed. I had post-natal depression, on several medications, struggling with isolation from Covid as well as a new baby.

I was not ok.

For a long time I wasn’t ok.

But after a while, I started to want to be ok. I wanted to feel comfortable in my skin, feel confident in my clothes. So I bought clothes that fit my new size so I wasn’t constantly reminded that I had put on weight. Not as an avoidant thing, as a celebration of my new body. I bought clothes I loved, made some myself, and started to grow a small acceptance of who I was now.

Yes, this is going to turn into another shameless plug for Teri Hofford’s book The Geode Theory simply because it changed my life so profoundly. Reading that book, and working through the exercises, and then having the balls to get in front of my camera, was exactly what I needed. It shaped a new Hannah in a way that I’d never expected. I released shame, embraced joy, and have grown to love who I am. Although I’m having to go through the process again now after such a dramatic weight loss (No, the problems don’t go away when you get skinny!) because I’ve been having some issues around how I look now.

I didn’t realise how far I’d come until I took this selfie in my new dungarees from Cider.

Look how happy I am!

Imperfections are what make us who we are. Take up space anyway. Love who you are anyway. Dress how you want anyway.

You deserve it.

What did I see the first time I looked at it? I saw a women not afraid of taking up space. I saw a woman thrilled by how happy she was her new clothes fit and made her feel amazing. I saw her stepping into her own power.

And then I looked again. Rookie mistake lol.

I saw the messy bedroom, the messy hair, the double chin, the weird teeth, my wrists over extended and at weird angles, and why on earth did I not brush my hair before I did this?!

I took a beat. I really asked myself “Do I believe any of that?” and “is that actually something I should be worrying about?”

I reframed it, which took a little time but was so worth it. I have a double chin because I was so excited about my new outfit I couldn’t help grinning. I had messy hair because I was thrilled to try on new clothes and send a selfie to a friend. My hair didn’t matter to me then. It doesn’t need to matter now. My teeth are only weird because I’ve been told they need to be perfectly white and straight by the media. Screw them. I hate the cosmetic industry for making us all feel bad about ourselves. Yeah, my wrists were over extended, and for my physical health I need to be aware of that sure, but it doesn’t make me any lesser because I can contort myself into weird positions. It makes me unique!

Did that take a lot of effort, especially emotionally? Abso-freakin-lutely.

Was it worth it?

Hell yeah.

When are you ready to start re-writing the story in your head? Because when you are, come and see me. We’ll work on it together.